Hipster women masterbates in Starbucks, lulz follows
Jennifer Piranian was witnessed or- as the medical professionals refer to the act- "Taco-Tickling" in a coffee shop lobby.
When police arrived to "help," Jennifer Piranian said she was waiting for a friend to take her to the hospital.
Unfortunately, she claims a spider bite as the reason for the medical attention and not a case of being a worthless hipster.
However, as most public pleasures know, the number one rule is to avoid having illegal substances such as, say, crack pipes, on your person to ease the dealings with the pigs when they come rolling in.
Jennifer Piranian was arrested for possession of drug paraphernalia, and many starbucks employees and customers had to wipe the fake lenses of their thick-rimmed glasses to verify the marvelous Avnte-Garde that their eyes had just witnessed.
Starbucks employees applauded and chanted for an encore, however, since this happened in
